Long time, no blog. And I am inspired to write not by yarn but fiber of a different nature. The Evil Dust Bunnies! I come to you triumphant, but exhausted. I have finally . . . FINALLY . . . cleaned my bathroom. I hate to clean my bathroom. I hate cleaning anything. I can think of a thousand crafty things to do instead of cleaning. I can stare at the wall rather than cleaning! No problem.
The problem is . . . it gets bad. REAL bad. Like SCARY bad! My mind keeps going back to a line in my favorite movie, "The Edge." Anthony Hopkins and Alec Baldwin are stranded in the wilderness of Alaska. Alec is the bad guy, antagonist. Anthony is the strong silent type who is a calculated survivor. He barks at Alec, "Why do people die in the Wilderness?" Alec, who is already feeling he may not make it, heaves a sigh, looks at Anthony with mocking eyes and sarcastically replies, "I don't know. Why?" "Because they are ASHAMED!" snaps Anthony. Well, I think this applies to cleaning too. My place is just soooo bad, I can't stand to climb the mountain and dig out. I look with shame at what I have let happen and skulk off to happier things (yah, crafting).
But sooner or later, even I can't deal. So I used the "tackle one room at a time" method. Which sounds all good, until you have the kind of hippity hoppity mind that says "but this needs to be done, and that needs to be done . . . and that there is just awful!" This is the hardest battle to win of all. To just do "one room". Especially when you know the whole place looks bad and, worse yet, I can't find anything. Oh the disorder. I never used to be like this.
So I tackled my biggest shame today, the bathroom. My worst nightmare, the bathroom! It's not that I'm squeamish about cleaning toilets. My Mom put a toilet brush in my hand as soon as I was old enough to use one. Then there is all the the time I spent praying to the "porcelain god" in my lifetime. Between the bulimia and the drinking and then just plain old flu or stomach issues. No . . . that doesn't bother me. What really kills me is the size of the bathroom. By far, this is the smallest bathroom I have ever had (and that's saying a "lot"). For me to clean my bathroom is comparable to putting an elephant in a telephone booth with a broom. But I did it. It nearly killed me. But finally "this bathroom is clean" (visualizing the midget woman in Poltergeist saying this!).
All I can say is that in the next life, I want a bathroom like Tony Montana in Scarface! Oh yah, and a housekeeper!
